Formidable Secrets
by Kynodontes
Summary: "Tell me! Please, you can trust me. I know that there's no possible way that I could ever hate-" "I'm in love with you!" Remus couldn't hold it in any longer and it burst out of his mouth, out of control. A fluffy Remus/Sirius story set in Fith year.


_A/N: I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. _

_Obviously it's slash so if you don't like, simplest thing to do would be to not read it. _

_I promised my best friend I would dedicate this to her as she was the first to read and has sole claim to the title. So this is for Hannah Gwen Gordon-Smith and I love her._

_Disclaimer: Obviously I'm not J.K Rowling because if I was I would not be using this site to publish my writings, so basically, it's hers._

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"Rem, what you doin'?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, Siri?" Remus replied sarcastically without looking up from his charms textbook.

"It looks… like you're being a studious bore who won't pay attention to his bestest friend, who's clearly bored and in need of said attention." Sirius smirked.

"Looks like you got it pretty darn right there. Now leave me to my 'boring' devices and go bug Prongs and Wormtail. Shoo." Remus waved his hand in the vague direction of James and Peter, still determinedly not looking up from his textbook.

"Aww Moony don't make me go over there, they're talking about _Evans_. You know what Jamsie gets like when he talks about Evans. Please Moons, entertain me!" Remus laughed outright at this statement. It was true, James did go all dreamy when thinking about or talking about Lily Evans.

"Maybe you should actually try this studying lark, you know it actually might help with the whole 'passing your OWLs' thing." Remus tried, having gone straight back to his book when he regained control.

"Oh, Rem, you know I don't have to worry about such trivial things as _Exams_. I could pass those in my sleep." Sirius was enjoying himself. He really did love to bug Remus.

"Ah, such modesty." Remus said, once again reverting to sarcasm.

"Hey, there's no point in modesty when you're _this_ perfect." Sirius knew he was nearly there in getting Remus' undivided attention. The signs were all in the right places. "Come on, Rem, pay attention to me!"

Remus was now absolutely ignoring Sirius. This called for drastic measures on Sirius' part.

"_Please,_ Rem?" He said whilst looking at Remus with his eyes wide in an imitation of Padfoot when he wanted something.

"Oh fine, if you care enough to do the infamous Padfoot eyes on me it must be important!" Remus had never been able to deny Sirius anything, especially now since his resent revelation in his feelings for his friend.

"YAY!" Sirius finally had Remus' attention. He had even put his book down to focus on Sirius. Now that was an achievement.

"Well, what do you want to do then?" He asked Sirius, trying not to let his mind be enveloped by his own fantasies of what he wanted Sirius to do.

"Um… I hadn't actually thought of that…" Sirius said, putting the next part of his plan into action.

"Typical." Remus once again laughed at the predictability of his friend.

"Sorry, but I'll think of something." Sirius pretended to be deep in thought. "Um… what about… hey! I've got it! Let's play truth or dare."

"Um… okay." Suddenly Remus was nervous. What if this led to Sirius finding out about his feelings for him. However it was no use deliberating, Sirius was doing his puppy dog eyes at him again. "Truth or dare, Pads?"

"Right, lets start slow so, truth." Sirius was starting to get excited. Everything was falling into place.

"Okay, then… why do you never worry about exams? Other than that you're an arrogant arse." Remus knew the question was boring but he wanted to try and steer the questions away from sensitive topics, that and the fact that he had always wondered.

"What a boring question Moony. However in answer, I will tell you, and only you, that I… have a… photographic memory." Sirius loved to create suspense. "Basically meaning I know everything and should be leader of the world."

"I see. And yes of _course_ that means you should be leader of the world." Remus couldn't help returning to his old friend, sarcasm.

"Okay Moony-sarky-pants, truth or dare?" This was it, the last part of the plan just had to fall into place now.

"Truth, oh great-one." Remus replied with slight trepidation in his voice.

"Hum…" Now Sirius just had to get the balls to ask. "Why have you been ignoring me lately?" This wording would hopefully lure Remus into answering.

"What?" Now Remus was scared, how in the _hell_ did he answer that question. "Um… I haven't been ignoring you."

"Oh yes you have Moony!… we never talk like we used to any more… I just want to know why." Sirius had truly been worried about why his friend, who he always went to with his problems, had been practically ignoring him since they got back to school after Christmas.

"…I'm sorry, Siri. I've just been trying to come to terms with some new… realisation… I've had." Remus didn't know how else to word it. Pray to god Sirius let the matter drop at this. But, alas, no.

"But why are you ignoring me especially? I thought we told each other everything. I just want to help you… like you helped me with my family." Sirius had been so grateful of Remus lately in dealing with abuse from his whole family, even his little brother hated him now. He just wanted to return the favour.

"We do tell each other everything, we do! I just can't tell you this… I can't tell anyone this. It's just something that has to stay a secret." This was going too far, he should just stop talking. However his mouth just kept on answering Sirius' questions. He still couldn't deny him anything.

"But why, Rem? It can't be bigger than you being a _werewolf_, surely?" Sirius could tell it _was_ something big. Remus wouldn't get this harassed over something silly. However he still didn't know why he was the one on the receiving end of Remus' ignoring.

"It is… in a different way…" God, his mouth just kept talking!

"How?" Maybe he should stop asking, it was obviously distressing Remus, however he couldn't just stop. He hated seeing Remus so worried all the time, he had to help.

"Well… they're both dangerous, but for different reasons…" Remus was really worried it was going to come out now. It would be awful if it did, everyone would hate him and he wouldn't be able to protect himself without revealing his other secret to the school.

"How is this new secret dangerous?" Poor Remus, Sirius never thought it would be something anywhere _near_ as bad as his friend's lycanthropy.

"It's only dangerous for… me. Not the people around me… really. Although I suppose it could be." What if that was true and his friends, if they stayed his friends, were beaten up over just knowing someone like him.

"Please, tell me Rem. I won't care, you know that. You can trust me." Sirius would never shun his friend, he would stand by him no matter what. After all it had been his idea for him, James and Peter to become animagi to stop the wolf hurting Remus during full moons.

"You're great Siri, rally you're my best friend, but I just can't tell you. I want to, but I can't. I'm sorry." Oh how he wished he could tell him, but he knew that Sirius would either stick by him and feel pity for him or he would be disgusted and never talk to him again and Remus would be friendless. Remus hated both of these scenarios and so would not tell him.

"Fine. I'm going to bed." Sirius knew he was being moody and he had no right to be. That didn't matter however, as he had felt he was really getting somewhere and then he just had it thrown back in his face by the one person who he truly never kept secrets from.

"Alright then. Night Pads." Remus was glad it was over, but he also knew that Sirius had not given up.

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Sirius could hear Remus calling out. He knew he was having a nightmare and if he was right it was about his newest secret. Sirius opened his own bed curtains a crack to make sure the others were still asleep and then padded across the cold floor by the light of the half moon to Remus' bed. He slipped between the curtains and put a silencing spell on them so that he would not wake James and Peter while trying to break Remus out of his nightmare.

"Moony? Come on, wake up, it's not real." Sirius reached out to stroke Remus' hair away from his sweat soaked forehead.

Remus' eyes fluttered open upon hearing the gentle sound of Sirius' voice and the loving feel of his quidditch calloused hand on his forehead. Remus' dream had been the same one as always since his revelation during the Christmas holidays, Sirius finding out and hating him. Tonight however it had seemed worse because of the fact that Sirius was that much closer to actually finding out.

"Hey, Moony, you okay now?" Sirius asked in a concerned voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine now. Thank you, Siri." Remus was truly grateful to Sirius, but he had a feeling this was going to turn into another inquisition.

"No problem, you always do the same for me. It's what friends are for. Do you want to tell me about it. Was it to do with your… secret?" Sirius couldn't help himself, he was really worried. He couldn't stop thinking that if Remus didn't sort out his feelings soon, the next moon was going to be extra hard on him.

"Um… yeah it was." Remus didn't know how else to reply.

"Please tell me, Rem. If I know I'll be able to help, like I did with us becoming animagi. I'll find something to help you. I won't even tell James if you don't want me to. _Please_." On the last word he risked putting his puppy dog eyes into effect again. He knew Remus struggled to deny him anything when he did this.

"I can't, you'll hate me." Remus voiced his biggest fear.

"I could never hate you Rem! Never, it's not even possible for me to feel that towards you!" Sirius couldn't believe Remus would think he hated him. If only he knew it was the complete opposite of what was true.

"Thanks for the confidence Siri, but you don't know what it is yet." Remus was almost to breaking point, he knew he couldn't hold off telling him much longer. He just knew it was going to slip from his tongue soon.

"Then tell me! Please, you can trust me. I know that there's no possible way I could ever hate-"

"I'm in love with you!" Remus couldn't hold it in any longer and it burst out of his mouth, out of his control.

"-you. Wait, what?" _Is this a dream?_ Sirius thought.

"I…" Remus thought he might as well say it again. "I'm in love with you." Remus was looking at his bedspread instead of at Sirius so when he felt Sirius' hand lift his chin up to look at him, he was completely unprepared for the look of ecstatic happiness he saw displayed in Sirius' eyes.

"Really?" Sirius couldn't help but ask. He still wanted confirmation. However the look on Remus' face told him everything.

"I've said it twice already!" Remus was annoyed now, why couldn't Sirius just get his reaction over and done with.

"Remus, look at me." Remus looked up at him with nervous anticipation clear on his face. "I love you too."

"What? But that's not possible! You have a girlfriend!" Remus was terribly confused and terribly worried that this was some sort of prank.

"I know I do, but I only dated her because… I was… scared. And I knew she fancied me." Sirius was hoping that Remus would believe him.

"So you really… love… _me_? Why?" Remus was confused as to how anyone could love a shy, scarred werewolf.

"I really do. I think you're amazing." Sirius loved everything about Remus, especially the look of belief that was now planted on his beautiful face.

"But I'm scarred and boring." Remus knew he believed Sirius, he just had to make sure for sanity's sake.

"You're not boring! You're amazingly clever and nice, you're never mean to anyone, not even Snivellus! You so fantastically eccentric and if the rest of the school knew that you were really the mastermind behind all our best pranks they'd fall to their knees and worship you. Your pranks are always the best, Moony, they're the ones where everyone gets involved and no one gets hurt. And you've managed to win over the hearts of every single teacher in this place!" By the end of Sirius' little speech, Remus was grinning from ear to ear, like he never had before.

"You really mean all that stuff, Siri?" Remus asked.

"Of course." Sirius replied with a smile on his face.

"Thanks. … I think you're amazing too…" Remus was nervous again saying this.

"Can I… um… kiss you? Sirius was a quivering wreck of nerves at this point. He wanted nothing more than for Remus to say yes.

"You really want to?" Remus, again, couldn't believe that someone actually wanted to kiss him.

"Yeah, I do. … but if you don't want me to I won't."

"I… want to… too." Remus was nervous and excited at the same time. He'd never kissed anyone before and he knew that Sirius had. He didn't want to do anything wrong.

"Okay…" Sirius started to lean forward, as did Remus. Sirius touched his lips to Remus' and his whole body seemed to erupt in tingles. He had never felt like this kissing Lucy, his girlfriend and sole kissing experience, before. His world narrowed down to just include him, Remus and this moment.

When Sirius' lips met his, he was amazed by the sensation. He didn't know if it was always like this or if it was something special between him and Sirius but he didn't care as long as he could always feel the electrifying sensation going through his body. Their lips hadn't even moved, it was really just a peck, but it felt so right.

Sirius decided now was the time to pull away. He didn't want to make their first kiss into something it shouldn't be and he wanted to make sure Remus was happy.

"Is it like that when you kiss Lucy, Siri?" Remus was curious to know how it was for Sirius.

"No, it's never been like that for me before. I always try to avoid Lucy when she wants to kiss me because I never liked it. You're a much better kisser, Moons." Sirius was smiling goofily at Remus and Remus smiled back.

"… Thanks." Remus suddenly became very shy again.

Sirius just smiled and pulled up the covers of the bed. In reply to the confused look from Remus, Sirius said; "Scoot over a bit."

"Alright." Remus scooted over slightly and watched as Sirius slipped under the covers and turned to face him.

Sirius wrapped his arms around the smaller boy in a comforting embrace. Remus snuggled closer against Sirius' chest.

They both fell asleep smiling, unaware of what chaos their sleeping arrangements would cause in the morning.

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_A/N: Good? Bad? Ugly?_

_Please Review so that I can get better_

_Thanks for Reading_

_X_


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